At our house, we call it the “Never Enough” syndrome. It seems that no matter what we buy, give or do, it’s “never enough.” If we say yes, they ask for one more thing. If we say midnight, they say “12:30.” If we say pick one, they say “two. If we say pick two, they say “three.”
Okay, you get the idea. Anyone else relate to this syndrome?
Reflecting on a quiet Mother’s Day yesterday and keeping focused on my job as the mean mom with Scary Baby grounded for the day and the teenagers all working, I thought of one of my favorite Erma Bombeck writings. I know it has made its way around the internet email forwarding system many times. Often without proper attribution.
My kids actually read the blog from time to time and I wonder if they’re still too young to really “get it.”
Fellow mean moms get it.
Erma got it.
It’s really worth reading again.
You Don’t Love Me
“You don’t love me!”
How many times have your kids laid that one on you?
And how many times have you, as a parent, resisted the urge to tell them how much?
Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother I’ll tell them.
I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom, and what time you would get home.
I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your own money that we could afford and you couldn’t.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your hand-picked friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you return a Milky Way with a bite out of it to a drugstore and confess, “I stole this.”
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me fifteen minutes.
I loved you enough to say, “Yes, you can go to Disney World on Mother’s Day.”
I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust, and tears in my eyes.
I loved you enough not to make excuses for your lack of respect or your bad manners.
I loved you enough to admit that I was wrong and ask your forgiveness.
I loved you enough to ignore “what every other mother” did or said.
I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt, and fail.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for you own actions, at six, ten, or sixteen.
I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned, but forgave you for it … after discovering I was right.
I loved you enough to shove you off my lap, let go of your hand, be mute to your pleas … so that you had to stand alone.
I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, not what I wanted you to be.
But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.
–Erma Bombeck
I hope all you mean moms (and nice moms) had a wonderful Mother’s Day.
And I hope and pray that my kids know that I have always loved them enough even when it seems like it is never enough…
